Organizational Energy — The Blog

“It’s better to look where you’re going than to see were you’ve been.” –Unknown

In today’s uncertain economic climate, this quote strikes me as a gem. Isn’t this what Congress is missing altogether — a vision of where we want to go? They appear instead to be stuck in an attempt to treat “where we’ve been” as a fixer-upper that can be slightly remodeled. They are missing the point — both Democrats and Republicans — that we don’t want either of their parties because they both have outdated “solutions”. What we want is new thinking that can help us make the quantum leap our current environment requires. We are and always have been innovative. Let’s see some innovative action on a national level!

“Half of the world is composed of people who have something to say and can’t; the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.”      — Robert Frost

Communication is powerful stuff.  We can either be victims of others’ communication foibles, or we can be in charge of our own listening and speaking.  Many don’t know that this is a simple choice.  They actually think it’s about the other person and what they say and how they say it.  Not true, not true!  Communication is the results that are obtained, not the words that are said.  And that brings us to Trigger Words.

A Trigger Word is not about Roy Rogers’ horse.  It is rather any word, phrase, tone of voice or look which “triggers” such a strong response that our mind moves from the “logical” side to the “psycho” side and our reactions follow. We can deflect the bullet as soon as we know it has been fired, much like Hiro Nakamura on the TV series “Heroes” can stop time, deflect weapons, and come out unscathed again and again.  Here are the steps:

1. Identify your own triggers.  Make a list.  Add to it every time you discover a new one.
2. Become a detective.  Watch for situations where  people are hearing those words, but not having a “hair trigger” reaction.  Try to find lots of alternative ways to respond to those triggers — ways that help you keep that needed balance between logic and emotion.
3. Practice new responses.  Often just taking a deep breath is enough.  Or you might have someone in your life say the trigger words to you periodically so you can practice new responses in a nonthreatening situation.  As an old colleague used to say, “If they called you a 3-legged chicken, it wouldn’t make you a 3-legged chicken.  So if they call you a poor excuse for a woman, it doesn’t make you a poor excuse for a woman.  In fact, it is only your response that will demonstrate to the world whether you are or are not living down to the comment that was made.”
4. Find “power states” — states of mind where you are resourceful and confident.  For me, a state of real curiosity or of mild amusement are power states.  Practice slipping into these states lightning fast, as soon as you see that bullet coming.  It keeps you in control of your response.
5. Now you’re finally able to listen behind the trigger word.  If they were, in fact, baiting you, then you can deal with the real issue, not the word choice.  If they were not baiting  you, you have saved yourself a great deal of embarrassment by not assuming they knew they were shooting a bullet at you.

As you practice listening behind the trigger words, you will notice yourself feeling powerful and confident in conversations that used to turn you into a quivering slug, leaving a trail of salt tears in your wake.

What are your trigger words?  And how are you learning to dodge their bullets?

“Quality marks the search for an ideal after necessity has been satisfied and mere usefulness achieved.” — Will A. Foster

The week of November 9 has been busy and productive. The economy seems to be inspiring at least some new optimism. We are regularly adding to our Crestcom BulletProof Manager sessions in Kansas City and Wichita now and look forward to starting in Monett again in January. December topics will be “Planning: A Seven-Step Formula” featuring Bob Johnson; and “Dealing with Difficult People” featuring Dr. Terry Paulson.